My heart is full.
Today was a little more exhausting than normal. I’m not exactly sure why… I may have done a little extra cleaning than usual and Aurora wanted to be held a little more than usual. Alex was having a boys night after work, so I think imagining a full night with no extra hands made me tired thinking about it. I read to her, played with her, gave her a bath, lotioned her up, put her in her pajamas, fed her… and rocked her to sleep. In between pajamas and feeding/rocking her, I watched a few inspirational messages, and slowly my heart began to swell. I looked over at a drifting baby in the swing, and couldn’t help but get a little misty eyed. Everything about my day that was a ‘nuisance’ before melted away and I felt grateful.
How truly blessed am I? I could go on forever listing the ways. Of course there are hard times and there will continue to be hard times. But today I am thankful for inspired men and women who make my day just a little bit better, make my faith a little bit stronger, change my heart just a little bit more.
As I was rocking her to sleep, all I could do is stare at her little face. She is so beautiful, and I want her life to be filled with good. I worry about her going through school, I worry about the people who will hurt her feelings or break her heart. I’m worried for the world to creep in and cause her to doubt herself and her faith. Geez, I worry about that girl. I want her to be so much stronger than I was. I want her to know her virtue, and to know that she is a queen. I want her to find good friends who will help lift her up.
I know that part of parenthood is letting them go out into the world and make choices on their own – good or bad. I know that there are going to be days when she comes home in tears because of someone who has hurt her feelings. I dread that day like no other, but I am comforted in the fact that she will always have Alex and I to come home to, and that we can help her through it. I am also comforted that she’ll have Heavenly Father to go to, and that He will do more than we ever can.
Right now she is so innocent. She has no worries, no qualms. She feels loved and comfort from her family. She doesn’t know about the terrible things that happen outside our front door. All she knows is when she is home, she feels safe. You want to keep her in a bubble, but that isn’t realistic, and part of growth is through trials and through making decisions. That is our reason for being here, to learn and to grow. But also, to enjoy life in it’s entirety. Life isn’t to be endured, but enjoyed.