This past weekend was rough.
I’ve had some rough times with Aurora before, but usually they are in spurts and only last a few hours at best. This little “spurt” lasted two days.
I know it wasn’t her fault. She is getting over a cold (it seems like she is always getting over a cold), and continuing to teethe. On Saturday, we decided to drive to the city and maybe do some Christmas shopping. We decided to take Aurora, and about thirty minutes out of town, we started to second guess ourselves. She is currently in this stage where she hates her car-seat, so when she is in it more than 20 minutes, she slowly enters meltdown mode. It’s not a pretty sight, people.
We also realized we had forgotten her stroller, so when we got to the mall, we had to carry her around. Exhausting. Needless to say, we didn’t get anything at the mall, and when we went to Target – she had missed her second nap and there was no distracting her. Again, we left with barely anything, and it was a long trip back to Stillwater. She went straight to bed when we got home. Sanity temporarily renewed.
On Sunday, church is from 9:00-12:00, and her nap has been fluctuating anywhere from between 9:00 and 10:30. Therefore, she missed her morning nap and has entered the terrorizing stage during church. She really isn’t horrible, but Alex had to leave Sacrament meeting multiple times, and I didn’t get much from Sunday School or Relief Society. I think my new mantra will be … “Only __ more months until Nursery… only __ more months until Nursery….”
She was whiny and hard to deal with the rest of the day, and went to be bed even earlier than usual. She definitely needed it, because she slept an extra hour the next morning. I remember at one point during one of those two days, she was crying and I just laid my head down in seeming defeat and just thought, “Anyone in their right mind who thinks being a stay at home mother is not a job can shove it.”
Like I said, rough couple days.
And I took a two hour nap with her instead of cleaning.
&I didn’t regret it one bit.
Yesterday, Aurora was being unusually cuddly. Now that she’s started crawling (yes it’s official!), she never wants to stay put… so when I hold her, she’s usually after something I’m holding or that is next to me. But on this day, she threw me a bone and let me snuggle her. It was raining, so we went out on the porch to watch it for a while. She laid her head on my chest and sat there content. It was a piece of heaven, I tell you. I was loving the moment. We sat on the wooden swing for close to thirty minutes, just the two of us. I think she has a soft spot for Oklahoma rain like her mama. Just a guess.
Usually, Aurora goes to bed without a hitch at 7:00 PM. Our pediatrician told us that we should start trying to put her to bed at 7:00 – and eventually she will sleep from 7 to 7. At first I almost felt guilty putting her to bed that early, but I realized that it is extremely nice. She has adjusted seamlessly and gets tired around 6:30. The past two nights, however, she has cried when I put her down, so I pick her up – walk around the room with her until she gets sleepy and then put her down. It takes a bit to get her to finally get to sleep, and while I’d usually be annoyed, I have really enjoyed it.
All she wants to be is held by her mother, and how could I possibly complain about that? For a while, we share a little bit of heaven in that dark bedroom. I will take all the little “annoyances” that motherhood brings, because I realize that one day – I won’t be able to do it anymore. And for that, I will happily accept staying up a little later to console that baby girl of mine.
Gotta love Webcams, eh?
I found this on a blog, and I feel that is perfectly describes what I am feeling right now.
“I recently heard something really beautiful. While my friend was resting in between labor contractions, her midwife told her that some Native American tribes believe that it’s during those quiet times, between all the hard work, that the woman is actually out searching through the stars for the soul of her child.“
The day of Aurora’s birth was a day of many emotions. I am not quite sure how to put it into words exactly, other than it was a feeling of absolute love. It was physically trying, emotionally exhausting, and incredibly spiritual. However, as I was going through this life changing process, I felt an indescribable connection with this little person I hadn’t met. It was as if my life was missing a small piece, and she was that piece. She made us a family.
Aurora is a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul. I like to think I felt that when I was waiting to meet her for the first time.
This Mothers Day, I am blessed.
“May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you.” -Jeffrey R. Holland