The Calm Before the Storm

BeFunky_DSCN3308This morning I knew it wasn’t going to be a good day.

It’s her 12 month appointment, and I knew she was going to have to get some shots. I’m the mother that doesn’t handle that sort of thing well, with my eyes close to tears when Aurora is screaming in seeming agony.

I get there 20 minutes early, fill out my paperwork and sit down to wait. Also in the waiting room is a mother and daughter, and the daughter is bouncing around and coughing loudly, while her mother tells another parent there that she thinks her child has mono. Immediately my senses are heightened and I try to politely turn my dear daughter away from the probably mono-infested child. The less than thrilled nurse comes to the door, calls Aurora, and in we go – with ten minutes to spare before our appointment time, I might add. Success. The sooner I’m in, the sooner I’m out.

I go in, and the nurse asks (like I should have known this),

“Did you bring Aurora’s shot record with you?”

“No, should I have?”

“Well, we have nothing scanned for her records, so, yeah.”

Let me just bring up the fact that at Aurora’s 9 month check up, this same conversation happened, but we just moved from Utah, so it made sense that we should have her shot records. I called my old pediatrician, had them fax over her records, and all was well. They received the records, but I guess did not scan them.

“Well, this happened before. Did they not scan them?”

“I have nothing in the computer.”

She leaves, I call my old pediatrican’s office, they agree to fax them — again — and my doctor comes in. Everything with the check-up went wonderful. He complimented my mothering, said she’s beautiful and growing perfectly. I was feeling good. He mentioned on his way out that the shots were on their way. 20 minutes later (and it’s really hot in those little rooms) the same lovely nurse comes back in. I asked if she’d received the fax. She said, “I’ve received nothing.” Great. We finally get all that taken care of, and the shots begin. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to those stupid things. She buried her head into my scarf while I tried to whisper in her ear that it’s okay. Heart wrenching.

After that ordeal, the nurse mentions that she will have to have some blood drawn in the lab. Sigh. Bring it on. I go downstairs and enter the ill-lit lab (why must they ALWAYS look soooo grim?) only to find that it is jam-packed with elderly people waiting. I sign in, and am quite aware of the silence – because every noise Aurora makes is echoed and exaggerated. We wait for 45 minutes. I was on my mom A-game. We played with the water fountain, we read through some political magazines, we played with the fake plant that needed desperately to be dusted, I threw her up in the air, twirled her around. She was pretty good considering the circumstances.

Then they finally call our name. I breathe in deep and go in. The second we sat down and the young nurse grabbed her little hand, she knew something was coming and started to freak. She again buried her head into my chest, and we started another cry-fest.

And then when he was finished, she peed all over my leg.

And that was the cherry on top of my morning.



Fathers and Daughters

I was a self-proclaimed “daddy’s girl”, so seeing these two make my heart melt. They are little buddies. Every morning when Alex leaves for work, Aurora crawls after him towards the door, and usually grins from ear to ear, making it extra difficult for papa to leave. It’s lovely to watch, and I’m glad Aurora has such a stand up guy as a father.


Blessing Day

Have I mentioned how amazing it is to be a mother? Seriously. Even though my little one is completely camera shy, and this is the closest thing we’ve got to a smile… makes her look like a little chubster! And of course, Daddy’s ears are making their appearance. Love!

Today was Aurora’s blessing day. It was kind-of a stressful morning, though I tried mentally to not have it be. We decided to have the blessing on a Saturday and only invite family – I had been to a blessing like that recently and I loved the intimacy of it. We fed her and put her into her gorgeous dress that my mother in law made for her. It took my breath away, I love it so much. It was angelic and perfect.

I think because we were trying to get all of our ducks in a row and have the baby ready and have us be ready by 11:00, it took me a bit to settle down. I’m a worrier. I worried that she would cry during the blessing or get fussy. She did get a little fussy – but nothing bad at all. I was proud of baby girl. Our Bishop was there, and mentioned the fact that my family couldn’t be in attendance since they are all out of state, but I’m glad that Alex has such a wonderful family who came and supported Aurora. My family was missed, though.

I’m not sure why, but the words of the blessing are affecting me more now as I sit and ponder them than when Alex was actually giving it. It is such a spiritual moment to see your darling, innocent child dressed in white and blessed by a worthy man. I loved listening to Alex give her a blessing, and was giddy that he mentioned she would be positive throughout her life. I have found that optimism is key to having a happy life. I want her to see the good in the world and be a genuinely happy person. I love our little family.

We’re finally settling in to parenthood. We were talking earlier about the first month compared to now, and it is night and day different. We are comfortable and loving every minute of it. We’re also getting used to the life of poor folk. Ha – making adjustments and dealing with leaky ceilings of our bathroom. (Our basement apartment is anything but glamorous, but I think everyone needs to live in a less than glamorous place at least once. It teaches you a thing or two, like you can really live without a lot and still be happy.) Alex has class in the mornings and evenings Monday through Thursday, but he is still home in time to help bathe baby girl and put her to bed. That is a blessing.

Right now, there isn’t much to complain about. We’re deliriously happy, and feel so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives.

Things I’ve Learned About Parenting Thus Far

I am far from an expert – I have one 2 month old. But whatever, onto the good stuff.

  • Sleep isn’t a necessity for survival.
  • It is what I’m meant to do, I love everything about it – I am honestly am excited for the next one already! (Is that weird?!)
  • You get super, super excited about small developmental steps your baby is making. Like grabbing onto something for the first time, or smiling.
  • Taking naps with a baby on your chest may be the best feeling ever.
  • I now understand what real worry feels like.
  • I also understand that keeping a clean house is a full time job – and she’s not even mobile yet.
  • I thought that I was going to have my baby girl in a cute outfit with matching bow, socks, and booties every single day. It’s pretty exhausting putting that kind-of expectation on yourself, especially when she’s so small.
  • Though childbirth was hard, and I never thought I’d “forget” about the pain I felt, to an extent – I have.
  • (But it was still really, really hard.)
  • In a usually fast paced life, being a stay at home mom has taught me the importance of slowing down every once in a while, and truly appreciating the time I have with her.
  • Seeing your husband become a father may be the most attractive thing ever. She has him wrapped around her finger.
  • I take the time to take more pictures, because I don’t want to miss a moment.
  • I find myself not always looking forward to the weekend or wishing time away. In fact, I wish it would stop.
  • When it’s time to make dinner, I put on an apron and try to channel my mother when we were growing up. My cooking skills aren’t there yet, but hopefully they will come in time. :)
  • Whenever we are in a tense mood about something unrelated to home and are talking about it – she picks up on. So in other words, she keeps us aware of our tones and attitudes.
  • Mothers are really hard on each-other, and on ourselves. Just relax, realize you aren’t perfect (and neither are they) and that’s okay.
  • There isn’t anything much cuter than a pair of baby jeans.
  • Single mothers have my respect forever. As fulfilling as it is, it is also the hardest job I’ve ever done as well – and that’s with the help of Alex when he gets home.
  • Motherhood is amazing, and I wouldn’t trade it.